The Best Date Ever

When I was younger I was often accused of being niave. Some thought it was quaint and others thought it was dangerous. I'm here to say that my naivete lingers and I'm calling it stupid.

Case in point: Cloverfield. To my husband's surprise on Friday I said ," Lets go see Cloverfield. We hardly ever go to the movies; we should see something that would be better on the big screen." We leisurly take in dessert at a local diner, and hit the bookstore for awhile before heading over to the theater. Fueled on sugar and caffeine, I was sure I could get past the 9:45pm start time and make it through the movie with energy to spare. It felt so good to be out of the house sans kiddos. We were getting a few luxurious hours to ourselves. In the interest of full disclosure, I had been warned that the movie might be a little shaky on the filming side, but that it had also recieved good reviews. For once, in a loooooong time, I didn't do my own research. Read: stupid, stupid, stupid decision.

We sit towards the back in a smallish theater. We watch twenty-five minutes of previews, and settle in for a supposed thrill ride. Within the first 10 minutes I'm starting to feel ill. I look away now and again at the floor or the wall trying to right my spinning brain. Within thirty minutes, I've resorted to closing my eyes for long periods of time, but even the light and dark stroble light effect of the hand held camera across my eyelids is making me ill. Kiel says, "We can go if it's too much for you." I shrug, "No, I'm okay, I'll be fine." Twenty minutes after that I'm leaning forward in my seat, my head between my knees. I'm salivating. I periodically try viewing this mess of a movie through the tiny slits my fingers make while pressed against my face. I look away. Look back. Look away. Look back, look away again. I put my head on Kiel's shoulder and moan just a little. He says, " We can go, really." (I'm thinking, we paid $18 to see this stupid movie and I'm going to sit through it if it kills me....I have a hat here, I can puke in my hat if I can't make it out the door...there's only one guy at the end of the row, I would probably make it past him at least....keep the hat...the hat's the thing.) My eyes have been closed for about 2 minutes now. Kiel asks after me again and I say through a controlled breath, "I'm watching it with my ears; I'm okay." I'm so hot I can hardly stand it. My saliva is my new companion. (I can't even watch through my eyelids now; I've got to get out of here.) Kiel is practically begging me to go. I have stopped caring what happens to these rediculous people. I hope they all get bitten and explode into a million peices while my 'be thrifty' mentality is still saying, eighteen dollars, eighteen dollars! I hold my head. Something slowly starts moving up my chest, my pulse if gets faster..."Okay! Okay, yes, we should go..is that okay with you?" I say to him. We do in fact leave. Victims number four and five for that evening.

I sit outside the theater for 5 minutes just breathing. We walk to the exit. Kiel is worried about me , but I'm not as green as I feel and am sure I'll be fine. He gets two passes for another movie from the concessions guy which makea me feel better. We get outside and the -4 degree weather feels wonderful. At the car, I dry heave off the bumper for a few minutes, then warily get inside. Seatbelts on, car warming up, Kiel turns to me and says with a smile "This is the best date ever!"

It will be one of our most memorable for sure.

For the record: it was my choice, I am still a bit naive, and yes, dessert stayed down.