The other night as I climbed into bed after yet another 5am baby feeding I thought to myself, this is the best thing: to be able to spend a lifetime of nights curled up next to the someone you love most in the world. How does love get any better than that?
For a few days now, I've been thinking about how romance changes for people over the years. When I was first being charmed by the boys in highschool, romance was often the simple thrilling act of kissing for half an hour after a hockey game at the Sullivan Arena. It's dark outside alcoves particularly lent itself to this activity, as did the fact that we were still waiting for our parents to take us home. These furtive wet kisses in the freezing air induced many pulse quickening moments which were further savored when recounted to our best friends.
Later as I got older, romance became less flirtatious and more subtle in it's impact. Making dinner with a paramour and accidentally having their arm brush yours, or stolen glances across a crowded room took on much more signifigance to the maturing heart. Time alone with someone was the romantic moment desired the most. What would be said, would we find a soul mate, would there be a spark, or would it end as just friends...all these questions would play out beforehand and add to the excitement of possible love. Yes love. Most of the time that's what we were after then, finding that perfect someone. But perfect is such a demanding role that quite often lead to the death of romance. Flaws were found, lies were told, mysteries were solved, and chapters ended in the sad demise of love found and lost again. Romance, the adventure of love, got to be a lot of work.
Somewhere in those adventures you begin to realize that love takes real, daily work, and a healthy dose of kindness and grace to be accomplished. So then you have to figure out who you can regularly do this with. Who will make butterflies flock to your belly? Who will cause your cheek to blush at the unexpected sight of them, or, better yet, still find you wanting to pinch their bum ten years later? Who will laugh with you and find humor in the day to day of life? Who will make the work of love so beautifully easy to do? I have been fortunate to find that person, and our day to day romance is sublime.
We have two beautiful children now and they have reshaped my view of romance even further. I have fallen in love with them as well, and relish the sound of their laughter, the softness of their cheeks and the magnitude of their adoration. To get a hug or kiss unsought is truly one of the sweetest gifts I can imagine. With my husband, there is now a slow burning fire in which little gestures make the largest flames. A foot rub, a snog on the couch while watching TV, chocolate slipped into a coat pocket, these are tender reminders of love. But by far and best of all, is that our bodies have grown used to each other in sleep; we are pressed close and warm in the haze of dreams and remain fully aware that home is right there in that simple blessed moment.
I love you babe....and to quote Bob, "hang on to me baby, and let's hope that the roof stays on"...
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Hey You Guys!
This afternoon I was talking with David and helping him sound out some words and many times when I do that I think of my all time favorite kids' show The Electric Company. It was so cool in such a big city way for this kid from Nebraska. People on the show really seemed to be having fun to me, as oppossed to Sesame Street where things were just a little too clean and moral. The Electric Company was colorful and abstract, it certainly had an edge. Maybe it was the vampire or fanatical yelling intro that made me think that this show was just a bit cooler than the rest, and held me in rapt attention for thirty minute chunks of my life.
My favorite part of the show was the talking silhouette heads, you know, they faced each other and one would say "p" and the other would say "at" then they both would say "pat" and so on for about ten words. I loved that. I would always try to guess what word they were going to come up with after the first letter was said...would it be c-ar, car or c-at, cat or c-an, can...it was all so mysterious to my six year old mind. When I help David with his words, little does he know that two black heads on blue backgrounds are talking in my head.
3-2-1 Contact was another favorite. The Bloodhound Gang was so cool to me. Here are these kids solving these crazy mysteries. I wanted to be just like them, bell bottoms and all. Plus, you always actually learned something on Contact; it was like Discovery channel lite.
Now, my kid watches Sesame Street and a large part of that is Elmo. I've got mixed feelings about this and for the most part it seems harmless enough. I look forward to him growing out of this stage and into Reading Between the Lions. The dad lion totally reminds me of my dad-earing and all. As a mom Jakers is by far my favorite show. Not that anything is really being taught on that show, it's just a couple of brogue speaking farm animals growing up and learining little life lessons. Piggly is a cutie pie though, and has a tender heart-so I guess that's what I hope David takes away.
My favorite part of the show was the talking silhouette heads, you know, they faced each other and one would say "p" and the other would say "at" then they both would say "pat" and so on for about ten words. I loved that. I would always try to guess what word they were going to come up with after the first letter was said...would it be c-ar, car or c-at, cat or c-an, can...it was all so mysterious to my six year old mind. When I help David with his words, little does he know that two black heads on blue backgrounds are talking in my head.
3-2-1 Contact was another favorite. The Bloodhound Gang was so cool to me. Here are these kids solving these crazy mysteries. I wanted to be just like them, bell bottoms and all. Plus, you always actually learned something on Contact; it was like Discovery channel lite.
Now, my kid watches Sesame Street and a large part of that is Elmo. I've got mixed feelings about this and for the most part it seems harmless enough. I look forward to him growing out of this stage and into Reading Between the Lions. The dad lion totally reminds me of my dad-earing and all. As a mom Jakers is by far my favorite show. Not that anything is really being taught on that show, it's just a couple of brogue speaking farm animals growing up and learining little life lessons. Piggly is a cutie pie though, and has a tender heart-so I guess that's what I hope David takes away.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
The Best Date Ever
When I was younger I was often accused of being niave. Some thought it was quaint and others thought it was dangerous. I'm here to say that my naivete lingers and I'm calling it stupid.
Case in point: Cloverfield. To my husband's surprise on Friday I said ," Lets go see Cloverfield. We hardly ever go to the movies; we should see something that would be better on the big screen." We leisurly take in dessert at a local diner, and hit the bookstore for awhile before heading over to the theater. Fueled on sugar and caffeine, I was sure I could get past the 9:45pm start time and make it through the movie with energy to spare. It felt so good to be out of the house sans kiddos. We were getting a few luxurious hours to ourselves. In the interest of full disclosure, I had been warned that the movie might be a little shaky on the filming side, but that it had also recieved good reviews. For once, in a loooooong time, I didn't do my own research. Read: stupid, stupid, stupid decision.
We sit towards the back in a smallish theater. We watch twenty-five minutes of previews, and settle in for a supposed thrill ride. Within the first 10 minutes I'm starting to feel ill. I look away now and again at the floor or the wall trying to right my spinning brain. Within thirty minutes, I've resorted to closing my eyes for long periods of time, but even the light and dark stroble light effect of the hand held camera across my eyelids is making me ill. Kiel says, "We can go if it's too much for you." I shrug, "No, I'm okay, I'll be fine." Twenty minutes after that I'm leaning forward in my seat, my head between my knees. I'm salivating. I periodically try viewing this mess of a movie through the tiny slits my fingers make while pressed against my face. I look away. Look back. Look away. Look back, look away again. I put my head on Kiel's shoulder and moan just a little. He says, " We can go, really." (I'm thinking, we paid $18 to see this stupid movie and I'm going to sit through it if it kills me....I have a hat here, I can puke in my hat if I can't make it out the door...there's only one guy at the end of the row, I would probably make it past him at least....keep the hat...the hat's the thing.) My eyes have been closed for about 2 minutes now. Kiel asks after me again and I say through a controlled breath, "I'm watching it with my ears; I'm okay." I'm so hot I can hardly stand it. My saliva is my new companion. (I can't even watch through my eyelids now; I've got to get out of here.) Kiel is practically begging me to go. I have stopped caring what happens to these rediculous people. I hope they all get bitten and explode into a million peices while my 'be thrifty' mentality is still saying, eighteen dollars, eighteen dollars! I hold my head. Something slowly starts moving up my chest, my pulse if gets faster..."Okay! Okay, yes, we should go..is that okay with you?" I say to him. We do in fact leave. Victims number four and five for that evening.
I sit outside the theater for 5 minutes just breathing. We walk to the exit. Kiel is worried about me , but I'm not as green as I feel and am sure I'll be fine. He gets two passes for another movie from the concessions guy which makea me feel better. We get outside and the -4 degree weather feels wonderful. At the car, I dry heave off the bumper for a few minutes, then warily get inside. Seatbelts on, car warming up, Kiel turns to me and says with a smile "This is the best date ever!"
It will be one of our most memorable for sure.
For the record: it was my choice, I am still a bit naive, and yes, dessert stayed down.
Case in point: Cloverfield. To my husband's surprise on Friday I said ," Lets go see Cloverfield. We hardly ever go to the movies; we should see something that would be better on the big screen." We leisurly take in dessert at a local diner, and hit the bookstore for awhile before heading over to the theater. Fueled on sugar and caffeine, I was sure I could get past the 9:45pm start time and make it through the movie with energy to spare. It felt so good to be out of the house sans kiddos. We were getting a few luxurious hours to ourselves. In the interest of full disclosure, I had been warned that the movie might be a little shaky on the filming side, but that it had also recieved good reviews. For once, in a loooooong time, I didn't do my own research. Read: stupid, stupid, stupid decision.
We sit towards the back in a smallish theater. We watch twenty-five minutes of previews, and settle in for a supposed thrill ride. Within the first 10 minutes I'm starting to feel ill. I look away now and again at the floor or the wall trying to right my spinning brain. Within thirty minutes, I've resorted to closing my eyes for long periods of time, but even the light and dark stroble light effect of the hand held camera across my eyelids is making me ill. Kiel says, "We can go if it's too much for you." I shrug, "No, I'm okay, I'll be fine." Twenty minutes after that I'm leaning forward in my seat, my head between my knees. I'm salivating. I periodically try viewing this mess of a movie through the tiny slits my fingers make while pressed against my face. I look away. Look back. Look away. Look back, look away again. I put my head on Kiel's shoulder and moan just a little. He says, " We can go, really." (I'm thinking, we paid $18 to see this stupid movie and I'm going to sit through it if it kills me....I have a hat here, I can puke in my hat if I can't make it out the door...there's only one guy at the end of the row, I would probably make it past him at least....keep the hat...the hat's the thing.) My eyes have been closed for about 2 minutes now. Kiel asks after me again and I say through a controlled breath, "I'm watching it with my ears; I'm okay." I'm so hot I can hardly stand it. My saliva is my new companion. (I can't even watch through my eyelids now; I've got to get out of here.) Kiel is practically begging me to go. I have stopped caring what happens to these rediculous people. I hope they all get bitten and explode into a million peices while my 'be thrifty' mentality is still saying, eighteen dollars, eighteen dollars! I hold my head. Something slowly starts moving up my chest, my pulse if gets faster..."Okay! Okay, yes, we should go..is that okay with you?" I say to him. We do in fact leave. Victims number four and five for that evening.
I sit outside the theater for 5 minutes just breathing. We walk to the exit. Kiel is worried about me , but I'm not as green as I feel and am sure I'll be fine. He gets two passes for another movie from the concessions guy which makea me feel better. We get outside and the -4 degree weather feels wonderful. At the car, I dry heave off the bumper for a few minutes, then warily get inside. Seatbelts on, car warming up, Kiel turns to me and says with a smile "This is the best date ever!"
It will be one of our most memorable for sure.
For the record: it was my choice, I am still a bit naive, and yes, dessert stayed down.
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