On Romance

The other night as I climbed into bed after yet another 5am baby feeding I thought to myself, this is the best thing: to be able to spend a lifetime of nights curled up next to the someone you love most in the world. How does love get any better than that?

For a few days now, I've been thinking about how romance changes for people over the years. When I was first being charmed by the boys in highschool, romance was often the simple thrilling act of kissing for half an hour after a hockey game at the Sullivan Arena. It's dark outside alcoves particularly lent itself to this activity, as did the fact that we were still waiting for our parents to take us home. These furtive wet kisses in the freezing air induced many pulse quickening moments which were further savored when recounted to our best friends.

Later as I got older, romance became less flirtatious and more subtle in it's impact. Making dinner with a paramour and accidentally having their arm brush yours, or stolen glances across a crowded room took on much more signifigance to the maturing heart. Time alone with someone was the romantic moment desired the most. What would be said, would we find a soul mate, would there be a spark, or would it end as just friends...all these questions would play out beforehand and add to the excitement of possible love. Yes love. Most of the time that's what we were after then, finding that perfect someone. But perfect is such a demanding role that quite often lead to the death of romance. Flaws were found, lies were told, mysteries were solved, and chapters ended in the sad demise of love found and lost again. Romance, the adventure of love, got to be a lot of work.

Somewhere in those adventures you begin to realize that love takes real, daily work, and a healthy dose of kindness and grace to be accomplished. So then you have to figure out who you can regularly do this with. Who will make butterflies flock to your belly? Who will cause your cheek to blush at the unexpected sight of them, or, better yet, still find you wanting to pinch their bum ten years later? Who will laugh with you and find humor in the day to day of life? Who will make the work of love so beautifully easy to do? I have been fortunate to find that person, and our day to day romance is sublime.

We have two beautiful children now and they have reshaped my view of romance even further. I have fallen in love with them as well, and relish the sound of their laughter, the softness of their cheeks and the magnitude of their adoration. To get a hug or kiss unsought is truly one of the sweetest gifts I can imagine. With my husband, there is now a slow burning fire in which little gestures make the largest flames. A foot rub, a snog on the couch while watching TV, chocolate slipped into a coat pocket, these are tender reminders of love. But by far and best of all, is that our bodies have grown used to each other in sleep; we are pressed close and warm in the haze of dreams and remain fully aware that home is right there in that simple blessed moment.

I love you babe....and to quote Bob, "hang on to me baby, and let's hope that the roof stays on"...