My son David is a feirce competitor. Anything that can be made a race or game is his thing right now. Can he beat us eating dinner, going up and down the stairs, or getting his winter gear on? Just about any daily activity gets turned into a race. He puts his arm out ever so slyly going down the stairs to keep you from getting in front of him. He checks your dinner plate to see how many bites you have left; he races his brother out of the bathtub, determined to "beat him" getting his jammies on. For this almost four year old boy, it's all about the Big Win.
I'm not sure where this comes from. Well, okay, that's not entirely true. I've been known to put my own elbow out now and then to get ahead. (Most famously, in line at the state fair to get on the Zipper when some little tart tried to take cuts. One elbow slyly placed in a half-step-turn move put her back in her rightful place...thank you very much.) Plus, I can only play Risk with two players as the thought of alliances that might not be seeking to win, just take out everyone else, sends me over the edge. Kiel too, has some competitive feistiness, though he downplays this whenever it gets brought up.
So, in an effort to turn this dueling energy into something constructive we've been playing a lot of board games lately. Chutes and Ladders is at the top of the list, as is Hi-Ho Cherry-O, which requires real dexterity as an adult. C and L has improved David's sportsmanship to the point where he can lose without crying most of the time, and it has really boosted his counting confidence. Kiel, in his current obsession with the democratic primary race has named all the characters...David is ALWAYS "Obama". Kiel usually gets to be "Edwards", and for awhile I got to be "Clinton" (a blond pony-tailed little girl), but now most of the time I'm made to be "Kucinich". I successfully argued my way into being "Edwards" the other day. There is something so absurd in debating with your pre-schooler whether you can be Edwards or Clinton instead of the black-haired Kucinich (girl).
"Mommy looks more like Clinton. Why can't I be Clinton?"
"No".
"Please," I say sweetly.
"No. You can be Kucinich."
"Can I be Edwards?" (I'm desperate. I've been Kucinich for weeks now.)
"Ummmm, Okay."
Yes! Victory is secretly mine as I wield the curly haired blond boy with the utmost care....though I'm ultimately defeated by that crafty Obama. Twice.
I can only hope that these myriad races, large and small, find a place in his memory that he will look back on with fondness when he's older. And maybe, if we are really lucky, they will make him a more confident (not cocky) kiddo in the long run. So we hold our breath, mitigate when necessary, and laugh when we can't keep it in any longer.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
catching up
whew! It's been a long two weeks. Lots of work for my paying job, and prepping for a class I taught on 'writing in the Nursing profession' to some high school students yesterday. Of course, I went overboard and blabbed on for an hour instead of my allotted 30 minutes. That's what you get when you give a smart woman (at home with two kids all day) an audience. Fortunately for me, the class is taught by a friend of Kiel's so he was very cordial about my enthusiasm and lack of oral censorship.
Been thinking lately how it's nice to be home with these boys. Lucas is at that age when everyday brings something new. He stands longer or "gets" something we've been trying to teach him, or tries something new. It's a pretty exciting time. David is turning more towards philosophy it seems and comes up with some good reasoning now and then. Mostly it's about how he's bigger/faster/stronger than his brother, but he always adds a caveat: "but someday he'll catch up to me...someday" like he's hoping that maybe it wont come true.
I really believe that Lucas will handily overpower David in a few years. He really has this brutish force about him at times. Of course it's all done with a smile, so it's hard to not champion his little feats as a mother, but for both their sakes, I have started to scold Lucas when he doesn't play nice. I think this appeals to D's sense of fair play and it's important for him to know that his brother will have to tow the line just like he does.
We've also laid laminate and started on trim work in our bedroom in the last two weeks. It went as fast as we could have hoped for given two kids in tow. It looks great, and now we are on to painting the rest of the doors, casings and trim. Starting to look at flooring for downstairs and I am daunted by the idea of tiling and have been trying to find a way out of doing that, but it seems my glimmer of hope that came in a new "loose lay" vinyl may not pan out, because I can't really find anything I like. I dread tile. The dust, the noise, the "what are we doing/you aren't doing that right/don't talk to me like I'm crazy" conversations that go along with home projects newly attempted.
Kiel and I have worked out our roles in these things fairly well; which means we pretty much know where not to go with each other when patience runs thin. Every once in awhile though, we've got to make up for things said. The worst was our block retaining wall in the back yard. Two months of digging, stacking, backfilling, replacing, seeding, etc. There were several times that we had it out and neither of us was willing to concede defeat. It was bad. Then came the rain, flooding rain, and we joined forces in a last big effort on the few rainless days, to get it done. When you have a 4x20 dirt wall being supported by plywood and 2x4's and the rain doesn't end-you find an inner reserve to forgive and forge on. We laugh about it now, and the yard looks great, but we both know that wall tested our relationship on several levels. Live and learn right? We have I guess as this last project went off without a hint of 'tone' or condescension. Tile though, may cause us to backslide...still looking for a way out. Which probably means that I leave for a few days. I know, I know, put the control freak to bed chelsea...it's ok, really it is.
Been thinking lately how it's nice to be home with these boys. Lucas is at that age when everyday brings something new. He stands longer or "gets" something we've been trying to teach him, or tries something new. It's a pretty exciting time. David is turning more towards philosophy it seems and comes up with some good reasoning now and then. Mostly it's about how he's bigger/faster/stronger than his brother, but he always adds a caveat: "but someday he'll catch up to me...someday" like he's hoping that maybe it wont come true.
I really believe that Lucas will handily overpower David in a few years. He really has this brutish force about him at times. Of course it's all done with a smile, so it's hard to not champion his little feats as a mother, but for both their sakes, I have started to scold Lucas when he doesn't play nice. I think this appeals to D's sense of fair play and it's important for him to know that his brother will have to tow the line just like he does.
We've also laid laminate and started on trim work in our bedroom in the last two weeks. It went as fast as we could have hoped for given two kids in tow. It looks great, and now we are on to painting the rest of the doors, casings and trim. Starting to look at flooring for downstairs and I am daunted by the idea of tiling and have been trying to find a way out of doing that, but it seems my glimmer of hope that came in a new "loose lay" vinyl may not pan out, because I can't really find anything I like. I dread tile. The dust, the noise, the "what are we doing/you aren't doing that right/don't talk to me like I'm crazy" conversations that go along with home projects newly attempted.
Kiel and I have worked out our roles in these things fairly well; which means we pretty much know where not to go with each other when patience runs thin. Every once in awhile though, we've got to make up for things said. The worst was our block retaining wall in the back yard. Two months of digging, stacking, backfilling, replacing, seeding, etc. There were several times that we had it out and neither of us was willing to concede defeat. It was bad. Then came the rain, flooding rain, and we joined forces in a last big effort on the few rainless days, to get it done. When you have a 4x20 dirt wall being supported by plywood and 2x4's and the rain doesn't end-you find an inner reserve to forgive and forge on. We laugh about it now, and the yard looks great, but we both know that wall tested our relationship on several levels. Live and learn right? We have I guess as this last project went off without a hint of 'tone' or condescension. Tile though, may cause us to backslide...still looking for a way out. Which probably means that I leave for a few days. I know, I know, put the control freak to bed chelsea...it's ok, really it is.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Today I had the rare and pleasurable experience of driving down the Seward highway for no other reason than to see the mountains and listen to music as loud as I desired. I usually travel with kids in the car, so it's a nice break when I can turn up the volume and don't have to have the same conversations over and over again:
"No, we are not going to Fred Meyers. We are going to Costco. Costco! yeah for Costco!"
"Stop kicking my seat. I've asked you three times already to stop kicking my seat. It's hard for me to drive when you kick my seat."
"It's OK Lucas, we are almost home. You're going to make it baby, just hold on a bit more."
I ended up at Beluga Point, one of my favorite writing destinations. I love to sit and watch the tourists face the wind and snap pictures and try to find sheep and whales. Kate Bush was my musical companion as I reviewed last years poems and journal entries. I ended up revising a few lines and working on a short story that I started almost two years ago. Just like me, it's all a work in progress it seems.
The biggest gift of the day was the drive home. Every mountain range in sight was out in full glory. The Talkeetna's could be seen, still snow covered, in the northeast, the Alaska Range held up the southwest skyline with their tall and impenetrable peaks forged up from the sea. Redoubt stood alone with his lopped off top, while Denali and Foraker rose above them all to the north. The Chugach, our local range, stood on my right, looking a little weather beaten, like a well worn shirt, and across Cook Inlet, Susitna, wearing her snow white death shroud, lay serenely against the blue, blue sky.
Just another blessed trip. Alaska is synonymous with home for me; even on the worst day, there is nowhere else I'd rather be.
***Thanks Honey for the time off!****
"No, we are not going to Fred Meyers. We are going to Costco. Costco! yeah for Costco!"
"Stop kicking my seat. I've asked you three times already to stop kicking my seat. It's hard for me to drive when you kick my seat."
"It's OK Lucas, we are almost home. You're going to make it baby, just hold on a bit more."
I ended up at Beluga Point, one of my favorite writing destinations. I love to sit and watch the tourists face the wind and snap pictures and try to find sheep and whales. Kate Bush was my musical companion as I reviewed last years poems and journal entries. I ended up revising a few lines and working on a short story that I started almost two years ago. Just like me, it's all a work in progress it seems.
The biggest gift of the day was the drive home. Every mountain range in sight was out in full glory. The Talkeetna's could be seen, still snow covered, in the northeast, the Alaska Range held up the southwest skyline with their tall and impenetrable peaks forged up from the sea. Redoubt stood alone with his lopped off top, while Denali and Foraker rose above them all to the north. The Chugach, our local range, stood on my right, looking a little weather beaten, like a well worn shirt, and across Cook Inlet, Susitna, wearing her snow white death shroud, lay serenely against the blue, blue sky.
Just another blessed trip. Alaska is synonymous with home for me; even on the worst day, there is nowhere else I'd rather be.
***Thanks Honey for the time off!****
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Walk the Talk
Today I learned that you can buy a nine year old girl as a sex slave for $50 in Haiti. You could just use her as a housekeeper, or for both occupations if you wanted. All you have to do is feed, clothe and shelter her. You do not have to pay her. You do not have to care for her. She is your slave. You own her.
It appalled me to hear this on NPR this morning. According to Benjamin Skinner, slavery is more rampant and less expensive than during the big Euro-American slave trade 200 years ago. I listened to this story and yelled at the radio for a moment, then stormed off in a self-righteous huff down the hall. But what use is that? My anger wont stop slavery unless I take a stand, join some organization that is trying to stop the trading of human lives, and put my money and time where my mouth is. Hmmm. That seems like a lot of work.
Here's the thing: our indignation needs to extend beyond our apathy if we are really going effect a change in our world. We may not reach Haiti, but we might make a difference in our own locale. We have to do more than talk about it though. It was one of my resolutions this year to volunteer my time, not just my money. Today's news was a reminder that I haven't done that yet. I'll keep you posted.
Disclaimer: I have not read this book-but if you are interested here it is:
A Crime So Monstrous: Face-to-Face with Modern-Day Slavery
by Benjamin Skinner
A Google search will give lots of other info on this topic as well.
It appalled me to hear this on NPR this morning. According to Benjamin Skinner, slavery is more rampant and less expensive than during the big Euro-American slave trade 200 years ago. I listened to this story and yelled at the radio for a moment, then stormed off in a self-righteous huff down the hall. But what use is that? My anger wont stop slavery unless I take a stand, join some organization that is trying to stop the trading of human lives, and put my money and time where my mouth is. Hmmm. That seems like a lot of work.
Here's the thing: our indignation needs to extend beyond our apathy if we are really going effect a change in our world. We may not reach Haiti, but we might make a difference in our own locale. We have to do more than talk about it though. It was one of my resolutions this year to volunteer my time, not just my money. Today's news was a reminder that I haven't done that yet. I'll keep you posted.
Disclaimer: I have not read this book-but if you are interested here it is:
A Crime So Monstrous: Face-to-Face with Modern-Day Slavery
by Benjamin Skinner
A Google search will give lots of other info on this topic as well.
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